Working on Sensitivity

I received a question from Joy today, asking me for more clarification on an old Ask Dr. Debra column: How to Become Less Sensitive to Negative Words. (See my website: www.drdebraholland.com/archives/ask_march.html ) She wanted more specifics on how to become less sensitive.

I promised Joy that I'd use her question for my next Ask Dr. Debra column, which I've neglected to write in the last few months. This has also spurred me on to complete my (mostly finished) 10 minute ebook titled, Overcoming Sensitivity. I have several 10 minute ebooks languishing on my computer, awaiting final input.

So thanks, Joy, for the inspiration.

What I'd love from readers is comments or questions about sensitivity--either their own, or someone else's. Don't worry, I change names and circumstances for privacy.

Mad at Chase Bank

I am not a ranter by nature. Usually I'm a calm, even-keeled person, who stays moderate in most things in life. But I have a situation that is making me crazy annoyed--my local branch of Chase Bank took out the drop box.

I didn't mind when Chase Bank bought out Washington Mutual. I even opened up a business checking account with them. But taking away the drop box definitely spiked my anger.

Why?

I deposit checks two or three times a week. I almost always use the drop box. I have my deposit prepared beforehand, so I just need to take two steps into the bank, drop the envelope into the slot of the box, grab a new envelope and deposit slip, and leave. 15 seconds max, maybe even 10.

Then one day, there was no drop box. When I enquired about it's absence, I was told the district manager had ordered them taken out, and that I was about the 6th person that had complained to this particular teller. I briefly spoke with the assistant manager, asking her to talk to the district manager to bring the box back. I assumed that when the DM found out how many customers were dissatisfied, he'd immediately return the box.

Wrong!

The next time I went into the bank, still no box. This time I asked for the DM's phone number but instead was given a customer service number. I called and complained. The next week, I again spoke to the bank manager. He said it was a Chase policy.

He wasn't real aware of the complaints about the drop box. I couldn't believe the lack of communication between the tellers and the branch manager. If that many customers are complaining, shouldn't he be told? Wouldn't he have let the tellers know that he wants information about problems?

I also feel that I'm battling alone. All the other dissatisfied people probably stop at complaining to the tellers. They don't take the time or effort to go the extra step. Or they shy away from confrontation. Therefore the branch manager, district manager, and Chase probably think they are dealing with just one crazy lady.

I still wasn't given the DM's phone number, but instead was given the assistant's. I left a message and she called me back, claiming the decision was Chase policy.

I checked on surrounding branches in the area that I occasionally use. They ALL have their drop boxes, so I've started using them instead of the branch I usually use. When I spoke with one manager about the box, she said, "We have no intention of removing the drop box. Our customers would be very upset."

So I was lied to about the decision being company policy. Obviously there could be some leeway with the choice.

That REALLY made me angry. I had planned to refinance my house with Chase. But instead, I took my business to the company who already had my mortgage--Wachovia, now becoming Wells Fargo. I also opened a checking and savings deposit with them. The drop box isn't an issue because I've never seen a line in this Wachovia branch and usually just walk up to a teller, hand her my mortgage payment and walk out. Same as using a drop box.

Yesterday, I forgot to drop off a deposit at the Chase branch I drive by, and needed to go into my branch. Still no drop box. That made me mad all over again.

I again called the customer service number and received the same bull--I could use the night drop or the ATM machine. I don't want to use the night drop because the deposits aren't recorded until the following day. Nor do I want to use the ATM because it takes more TIME. Especially if there's a line.

I also left another message for the DM's assistant.

I can't believe a company who previously didn't do business in California, but now, due to the takeover, is trying to build the brand, satisfy current customers and gather new ones, would make a STUPID, LITTLE decision that would cause customer dissatisfaction instead of satisfaction.

So easy to remedy!

Love TWEET Love

What the world needs now ... is love ... TWEET ... love....

The last two days have been blessedly quieter for me. Except for the clients in my private practice, I have not worked. No consulting jobs this past Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wow. That hasn't happened in months. I'm had so much corporate crisis counseling work, that I've had to turn away a lot of jobs. I'm extremely grateful for the work and the opportunity to help others at a difficult time in their lives, yet I've also been more stressed and exhausted than I like.

With this free time, I've played on Twitter a lot more. To start off, I'm not a social networker. One of these days, I'll do Facebook, but in the meantime, I'm starting out in the shallow water of the Twitter pool.

Up until this week, I've often wondered why I'm doing it. I don't want to post a bunch of boring, personal tweets about what I'm doing. But I do want to pass on motivational, thoughtful, or interesting quotes. Maybe sometimes these quotes will even be mine.

Sometimes this has been a hassle. I prefer not to go to online quote sites and pick one out. Instead I like to glean them from the newspaper, magazines, talks, movies, blogs, emails. In other words, I stumble across them in my personal life, realize what I just read or heard is a great quote, and I save it to tweet.

I usually pop on Twitter once, maybe twice a day. Although there are times when I can go several days when I'm too busy. I try to follow people I know, or people who might inspire, motivate, and teach me. One website, I've learned about is www.dreammanifesto.com. Great blogs, often excerpts taken from self-help books. I've a couple of the books on my to-buy list.

But this week, I've had the luxury to play on Twitter. I've popped on a lot, getting to know more of my followers (all 130 of them). And I've had some wonderful experiences that have let me know that the Twitter World may be more exciting and interesting than I'd previously thought.

On Monday, I was engaged to speak on Woman's Day Radio for the debut show, What's Talkin' With Tra'Renee. My topic was Giving Up Your Job--For His. http://www.womansday.com/Information-Pages/Radio-WD

About an hour before the show, I read on Twitter that Thomas Herold, owner of Dreammanifesto.com had a new blog post up, so I decided to read it. In the blog by Deborah King, author of Truth Heals: What You Hide Can Hurt You, she writes, "Throughout the generations, women have consistently lost their identities and stopped living their truth when they marry." www.deborahkingcenter.com

Wow. What a perfect quote to use as an discussion opener. I had a lovely interview, and did, indeed, mention Deborah's quote. Later that day, I googled her website and sent her an email to let her know what I'd done. I also found her on Twitter and began to follow her.

Yesterday, one of my followers, whom I slightly know from one of my writers online groups, posted about having a meltdown. Normally, I wouldn't have seen this post, but since I was visiting the site a lot, it caught my attention. And, of course, I had to find out more. I sent her a direct mail, wondering what was wrong.

Turns out, Crystal-Rain Love had been laid off and was afraid she'd lose her house. The discussion with the mortgage lender was what sent her into a meltdown. I wrote back something supportive, but wanted to do more to help, so I went to her website: www.crystalrainlove.com and from there to her publisher: www.sapphirebluepublishing.com to buy her two books. Cost to me, less than $10.00. The books are ebooks, so I downloaded them right away.

But it occurred to me that I could send out a tweet about Crystal's plight, and maybe some of my numerous (I'm thinking positive, here.) followers might also buy Crystal's books. Then I went to our writers group, posted about Crystal's problems and asked that others also tweet about her. I imagined my little email and tweet about Crystal being spread around the internet, hopefully generating enough books sales to tide her over until she found work.

In helping Crystal, I found myself uplifted. Her situation (like that of so many others) reminded me to appreciate my wonderful life and express gratitude for my blessings. So Crystal ended up helping me far more than I helped her. :)

A little while later, someone I was following posted about an online writers auction for author, Janis Reams Hudson, who needs a lung transplant, and I retweeted it. That's when I realized how much social networking, especially Twitter, could be a wonderful source for GOOD! Wow. www.janisreamshudsonraffle2009.com

Later that day, Deborah King became a follower, listened to the radio show, and emailed me a compliment. Icing on the cake for my Twitter day.

A few minutes ago, an organization I'm following, www.co-creatornetwork.com, posted the line from the Carpenters' song, What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love. That's when the Tweet Love play on words popped into my mind and inspired this blog. Can't wait to see what other Twitter wonders lie in store!

What good things has happened to you from using Twitter or other social media?